Those people are the ones who will always think that you are faking it. Those people are the ones who will never believe that you are actually going through all of the things that you are. Those people are the ones who think that they know EVERYTHING when, in reality, they have no idea. `
I try really hard to educate people on not just my illness, but other chronic illnesses too. It blows my mind how little people know about chronic illnesses. It's like if you don't "get better" in a week or two, what do we do? Whenever I find myself around new people; new job, new school, new friends I try to explain a little about my illness or chronic illnesses in general so that people can try to get it. When I was doing this once someone said to me, "I just don't believe in diagnosis like that." Like WHAT?! Because you don't know about it or because it is long term and not as common, you just don't think it is an actual thing?! I was baffled. I literally was left speechless. My main thought was, "How do you reason with this type of person? How do you begin to explain that this is real, this is painful, this is the rest of my life?" So I took some time, thought a little about it, and approached it with some statistics. I started by saying that my illness (Complex Regional Pain Syndrome) was actually probably more common that we think. It is still classified as "rare" but I know there are a lot more people who suffer from it that just don't get the right diagnosis. I then went on to show her the McGill Pain Scale.... I use this tool VERY often. It shows that the illness I, and many others live with, is actually the most painful disease known of right now. It lands above non-terminal cancer, unprepared childbirth, and amputation of a digit without anesthesia. We deal with this pain most everyday of our lives... so yes... it is a real thing.
I learned that there will always be those people who try to bring you down in anyway they can. They will attack any part of your life just so that they can feel better about their own. This can be for people who have chronic illnesses or are healthy. It happens to us all. But I want to touch on it when it happens to a "sick person." As someone who is sick I can tell you that I have worked EXCEPTIONALLY hard at getting to a point that I can really be happy with just the little things. I struggled for a long time with significant depression because of my diagnosis. So now, even when I am having really hard, painful days, I have gotten to a point that I can still be happy or excited about things with my life. I have spent a lot of time making sure the people around me are happy and comfortable with my situation. So when one of those people try to attack or bring down the smallest of things, I have learned that it is SOLELY because they are unhappy with parts of their life. Anything to make their life seem not so bad. Because to them, "How can a person who is sick and in awful pain be happier than I am?" I will tell you how: I have learned that I need to take the little things, small accomplishments, and exciting events and really use them to help energize me, empower me, and motivate me. I have learned that this is the only life I get, and instead of waiting around for a cure, I have to do what I can with the time that I have been given. I also find so much peace and comfort in the fact that someday, when this life has ended, I get to go to a life that is SO much better and less painful. That I get to have flesh that doesn't fail me. That one day, I won't be in ANY PAIN. It seems like this absolutely incredible, unimaginable thing.
Everyday I pray that God uses me and my pain for His glory. I pray that He opens doors that allow me to advocate for people who can't quite figure out how to advocate for themselves. I pray that He uses Paul as a contact for other spouses of people with chronic illness so that they feel like they aren't alone in this fight either. Because it is so wonderful to have a great support system but it is SO awful when you don't. I want us to be that for people. Unfortunately, those people can be our family, friends, coworkers, peers, teachers, and even doctors. I will never quit fighting to teach those people how to become educated, accepting, and helpful to those of us who are trying to fight these chronic illnesses. For any of my warriors who struggle to defend themselves against those people; never stop fighting. And when you can't fight against them anymore, lean on me and the people who are on your side every step of the way. I can't tell you the peace I get when I stop and think of the way I have been able to help educate some of those people into people who are more on my side than ever before, fighting for what I, and so many of us sufferers need... awareness, education, and acceptance.