All of the people that are a part of my support system are my go-to people for me when it comes to my pain brain. If they are around, they try to do their best to follow what I am saying and then try to help me come up with whatever it is that I am having trouble coming up with. They also, bless their hearts, try to come up with it as quick as possible so that I don't have to spend anymore time than I need to going through the embarrassing task of describing something as simple as a tennis shoe without being able to come up with the word "tennis shoe." One of my most recent experiences happened when I was being prepped for my most recent spinal block. It was block #30 for me, so my wonderful boyfriend, who has been so incredible with all of this, told me that he was going to take a picture of me holding up "3-0" on my hands. So naturally I held up "3" on my left hand and "0" on my right hand. As he got the camera ready, I asked, "Is this backwards to you?" He told me that it was and so I stopped, looked at both of my hands and then one at a time had to honestly think very hard about how to switch the two hands. It took me what felt like ten minutes to switch the two hands. It obviously was only probably thirty seconds but for most people it would have been effortless, quick, and simultaneous. Paul, my boyfriend, watched very patiently as I worked through it and then I looked up, embarrassed, and giggled as we both said, "Pain brain!" He never makes me feel bad for my not so effortless responses to things. I am blessed.
Another thing I have run into that I blame pain brain for is my response time for things. Someone may ask me a question, tell a joke, or make a statement and I take what feels like forever to respond or laugh and it is because sometimes my processing speed is slowed down or delayed incredibly. I learned almost immediately that I had to laugh at myself for a couple of reasons. 1) If I didn't laugh, I'd cry. 2) I never wanted other people to become uncomfortable with how not so effortless even the littlest, most natural things our brains are supposed to do are for me and others with chronic pain or illness.
Pain brain is just another unglamorous "side-effect" of chronic pain and it is just another one of those things that we have to embrace and chose to laugh about. If I have learned anything from this illness it is that sometimes we just take life way too seriously. We need to accept what God has given us, embrace it, learn from it, and love it. Life is way too short to not laugh at the things that we would normally be embarrassed about.
Gentle hugs to all my warriors xoxo