I am going to start with thank you. Thank you for the amount of time that you've spent holding my hand, wiping my tears, and comforting me. Thank you for the time you've spent at doctor appointments and hospital stays with me. Thank you for your love and support. Thank you for never making me feel guilty for having to cancel or change plans. Thank you for always knowing just how many spoons I have left just by looking at me. Thank you for the countless hours you've spent researching and learning about my illness and for always having open conversation with me about it. Thank you for the way you never make me explain why I can't do something or why laying on the couch is how I had to spend my day. Thank you for caring about how my doctor appointments went and for asking what you can do to help. Thank you for being available when I call late at night or early in the morning when sleep has escaped me and I am feeling restless, exhausted, and emotional. Thank you for being there when I wake up from surgeries and for praying for me. Thank you for answering your phone when I call to tell you I am in the hospital and for staying in the ER with me when we both know there are other places you and I would much rather be. Thank you for showering, shaving and dressing me. This disease has been humbling and un-modest for everyone involved and I am so grateful to have people who do those not so glamorous things for me when I am unable to do them for myself.
I also need to apologize. For the anger and tears. I am sorry for the heartache and loss that has come with this disease. I am sorry that at times, I have not been myself when I get caught up in all this disease is. I am sorry for the times I have canceled plans we have had for a long time and for not always being able to be at all the important events in our lives. I am sorry for the loss of me being a dependent person all the time and for never being able to repay you for all the things you have done for me. I am sorry for the times that we planned on going out but we had to lay on the couch and watch movies instead. I am sorry for not always being able to tell you what I need and for not knowing how to let you help me. I am sorry that our relationship hasn't always been fun and games, and that sometimes it is way more work than either of us could imagine. I am blessed immensely for people who want to provide for and love me despite the time and energy it might take sometimes.
I know that I have been blessed with a support system that would bend over backwards to make sure I have the care I need so that I can live as pain free as possible. I am grateful that even though this disease is unglamorous, painful, and filled with tears, sadness and anger, that you've found ways to bring smiles and laughter to me.
I love everyone of you and I pray everyday that you know just how grateful I am for everything you've done for me.